Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
