Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
