If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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