I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
