I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
