Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
