remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
