Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
