i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
