They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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