you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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