So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
