blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
