in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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