i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
