i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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