we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so let's talk penis.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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