I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
