I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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