ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
