Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
