the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
