I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
