i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
