I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
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