yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Who wears a wallet chain?!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
