I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
