You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
