u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
