Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
