You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
