i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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