Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
