I cannot find my penis.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
