where does the pee come out of this thing
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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