I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think i have two assholes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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