Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
