The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need to align my fucking chakras
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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