remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
