I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
