I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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