it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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