It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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