Your face is a jimmy john
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
