I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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