My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
