i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
