I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Small penises have feelings too.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
