East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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