Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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