I'm jealous of your bromance
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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