If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
