You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize