I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
