; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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