Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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