ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
