your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
