well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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