Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My vagina is very pro this idea
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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