remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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