just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
