I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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