you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize