There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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