dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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