i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
