Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just gargled with NyQuil
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
